I decided that my first blog should be about resistance…my resistance to writing a blog, which was a piece of a larger issue of updating my website altogether.
I came to think of my resistance, my problem, as a maze that I could not find the entry point into, even though I had a general sense of the various “rooms” in my maze and what I wanted the outcome to be. But I could not find a way in.
Step 1 was to figure out the reasons for my resistance. Most apparent was garden variety avoidance — a kind of unconscious passivity — mixed with the more active and conscious angst of resistance. Any way you slice it, I was just plain stuck. An embarrassing truth for a life coach to admit, and a form of denial contributing to the blockage.
Continuing to unravel my reasons: I had an aversion to publicly depicting myself and my approach to coaching in ways that do not have integrity for me or reflect my voice and my values. I flinch at coaching websites or self-help gurus that over-promise and over-simplify. One size usually fits no one. I also was not sure I wanted to give away my time and my writing for free.
But I was also intimidated by coaching websites with lots of bells and whistles. The times they are a changin’ though from the days when websites were a static directory of information (though how many of you recall being awestruck looking at an actual color photograph for the first time on your computer monitor?). My first website in 2001 simply served as a portfolio of my art when I was a professional artist. Websites now are ALIVE! ALIVE!
Thus another issue — another door that felt closed to me — was my lack of technical information, terminology and skills. But the great thing about that kind of problem is that it is learnable or “hirable” skills. It doesn’t require deep psychological probing.
Uncovering these reasons helped me find two entry points into the maze. One was writing, which I like to do, thus a blog or ezine seemed doable. But then I needed a vehicle for my scribblings. The second entry point was reaching out for help. I sought a mentor coach strong in coaching-related marketing and websites. That was the kick in the butt I needed (coaches are great for that… and my role usually!). I also learned just enough tools and terms to seek and find what I needed from a web developer. That was the next outside resource I drew upon. I was on my way. I was unstuck. And this blog on my new living website is one of the rooms in the maze I got to.
Breaking through resistance is possible, therefore, by 1) teasing apart the various obstacles — psychological and informational — to find an entry point into the maze of the problem; 2) reaching out for help from people well targeted to address your needs. For me that was someone who would get me going…also give me support and guidance…and information I didn’t even know I didn’t know. I recalled a similar situation recently after I moved and felt paralyzed at times by mountains of stuff to deal with. I would lie in bed each morning figuring out one item I knew what to do with. Just one entry point into the maze…and off I’d go.
So welcome to my BLOG that I am calling IN(my)SIGHTS. By the way, I am comfortable now giving my writing away, sharing with people like you things I have learned over almost seven decades of living. I’d also love to hear your thoughts….
- What are you resisting?
- What has helped you get unstuck?
